The Marauder Diaries
by magick-moments
Summary: Lupin's thoughts on various events that have happened. Starts with his 7th year at Hogwarts...will end with OotP. Err...read it! I can't think of anything else to tell you about it! Hope you like it! FINISHED!
1. School Days

A/N: I know I just finished Somebody Loves You. I don't know. I love you write, and I had another idea. This one is based on Lupin, and what I think he may have been thinking after various events that occurred from his 7th year on. Hope you like it! RandR.  
  
The Marauder Diaries  
  
Chapter One  
  
Lily, James, Sirius, Lupin, and Peter had grown up together at Hogwarts. There was no denying that. Of course, Lily had hated James for most of that time, but Sirius Black and Remus Lupin were still able to get them through the years without killing each other. Funny how things work out, isn't it? Seventh year comes along, and they can't get enough of each other.  
  
"All thanks to my brilliant matchmaking," Sirius would brag every time he saw the pair together.  
  
"Matchmaking? It was more like talking really fast..." Lupin would smirk. He did admire them, though. Sirius was right about one thing. Whatever had brought them together, they were right for each other.  
  
December 12 1975  
  
Seems as if the tides have changed for Lily and James. I don't think they even remember how to argue with each other. Peter says he knew it all along...but then again, he has sort of always been there, even when he doesn't say anything...right? Oh, well. Guess everyone can see it now. Even Professor Dumbledore gets a glint in his eye whenever he sees them in the halls. Headmaster Dippet, on the other hand? I don't trust that man...but why do I care? Graduation, baby! Just six more months, and I'm free...but wait! I like it here! What on earth am I writing? None of this makes any sense! Oh well, best go find James and Sirius, anyway. Wouldn't want them to think I'd done something again. I must admit, though, that the 'incident' on the third floor last week was rather amusing. Poor old Sevvy was stuck up there till nightfall! -Remus J. Lupin  
  
"I'm right over here!" Remus called to his friends.  
  
James grinned. "What did you do?" he asked, a mischievous glint in his eye.  
  
"I've done nothing...err...yet..." Remus laughed. "You guys are no fun."  
  
"The Marauders? No fun? Moony, I think you need to have your head examined." Lily smiled.  
  
"Come on!" James whined. "We've got Dumbledore's class next!"  
"James, calm down. He's about the only teacher who won't barbeque us if we're late, and you want to get there early?" Peter's mouth hung open in disgust.  
  
Lily shook her head. "Well, it is his favorite class, you know."  
  
"Fine, lets go!" Remus led the way.  
  
June 12, 1975  
  
We've graduated! All of us...if that isn't in some way surprising. Apparently, even Peter did well on his exams. James and Lily are going to get married. Like I didn't expect that! They were talking to Dumbledore about it this afternoon. James really looks up to him. He was made Headmaster. Of course, it won't be official until next year...  
  
Dumbledore told Lily about a prophecy today. I was there. I don't like seeing Lily cry. I don't know all the details, but Voldemort has Marked Lily and James. I am worried about them. Dumbledore wants to put them under the Imperius Charm. I don't think it wise...but then again, I was one of the people who volunteered to be their secret-keeper. I think they've chosen Sirius, though. He'd never tell. He'd die first. They've made a good decision. I guess, when we say 'Marauders for life', we always knew we meant for life. But in this case, I'm not sure what's going to happen...I wonder what could possibly be so important about the future son of Lily Evans and James Potter that Voldemort would be willing to kill them over? –Remus J. Lupin  
  
"When this is all over, I want you two to come see me. Don't try to do anything you know I wouldn't do," Remus laughed, wrapping James in a hug. "On second thought, you'd better promise me you'll be good..."  
  
James did a salute. "Scouts honor. And don't look so worried, Remus. We'll be fine." He smiled.  
  
"Dumbledore's assured us that everything will be all right," Lily added.  
  
"Well, at least I'll know who to go after if everything isn't all right," Remus groaned under his breath.  
  
Lily laughed. "Stop it, Remus!"  
  
"All right. I'm done." He promised. "Until we meet again?"  
  
"Yes, Remus." Lily hugged him. "Marauders?" she looked around at her group of friends.  
  
"For life." They chorused.  
  
Unbeknownst to Remus, Sirius Black was not Lily and James's secret- keeper, as he was led to believe. He wouldn't know the truth for several years, and it would be thirteen years too late to save his best friends.  
  
"James, look, I don't think this will work as well as you think it will," Sirius frowned.  
"What do you mean? We trust you more than anyone we could think of. That's why we decided to pick you. We know you'd never do something to hurt us." Lily whispered.  
  
"I know!" Sirius threw his hands in the air. "But don't you see? Everyone knows how close we are. The moment that you guys went into hiding, the Death Eaters would know who to look for. The point of the charm is to keep them in the dark about it."  
  
James and Lily stared at him, a confused look playing on their faces.  
  
Sirius groaned and rolled his eyes. "They'd know you'd chosen me!" he explained. "Think about it. It was automatic, wasn't it? The choice, I mean? You picked me because I'm your closest friend, right?"  
  
They nodded. He continued. "It would be far too obvious, you see? You need to pick someone who they wouldn't suspect. Someone who you know you could trust, but wouldn't be so obvious."  
  
"What about Moony?" James smiled.  
  
"They'd figure that one out pretty quick. And I know Dumbledore offered, but..." Sirius stopped a moment to think. "What about Peter?" he asked them.  
  
"Are you mad?" Lily yelped. "I love Peter to death. He's a Marauder...but he's practically a squib, and it seems as if he may...."  
  
"...Crack easy under pressure?" James finished for her. "He did practically have a stroke when we took our apparating test. He was in the hospital wing recovering for a week..."  
  
"Exactly! That's exactly why you should pick him!" Sirius smiled.  
  
"Because he passed out during his apparating tests?" frowned Lily.  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes. "No! Because, as you said Lily, in comparison to us, he is a little behind. If you were a Death Eater," he shuddered, "would you think someone would ever pick Peter Pettigrew as a secret- keeper? I wouldn't." Sirius paused to let them consider this, and then continued. "They'll most certainly come after me and Remus before they ever consider Peter as an option. And even then, Remus and I would have to be dead before they'd think to consider him."  
Lily frowned. "Don't talk like that. Maybe you are right?" she was thinking out loud. "James, what do you think?"  
  
"I'll have to agree with Sirius on this. I think it's a good idea. Peter it is, then." James answered.  
  
A/N: How you like it? Chapter two will be up soon if it isn't already! 


	2. James and Lily betrayed?

A/N: Here you go! R&R!  
  
The Marauder Diaries  
  
Chapter Two  
  
Remus was sitting as he often did nowadays. He was alone, wondering where the hell all his friends had gone, and mostly, if Lily and James and their one-year-old son Harry were still all right. He hadn't read anything in the Daily Prophet. He had talked to Dumbledore on several occasions. No one had really heard from the Potters since they had gone into hiding. He assumed, of course, that this excluded Sirius, the Potter's secret-keeper. But even then, wouldn't Sirius be in hiding? That must be why he hadn't heard from anyone, he decided. They, like he, were hiding.  
  
Tonight was a full moon. Remus drank his potion as he had been doing since he was young. By now, this was a practically unforgettable routine. He could remember his school days, and how James, Sirius, and Peter learned to be Animagi so that they could be with him when he transformed. They would stay with him in the Shrieking Shack, and make sure he didn't hurt anyone. He wasn't sure he'd ever thanked them, but even still, the memory brought a smile to his lips.  
  
He frowned and went inside. Sundown was only a few hours away, and this night of all nights, he would have to be careful about where he permitted himself to roam. He opened his journal, took out a quill, and began to write, as he often had many times before.  
  
August 17, 1988  
  
Tonight is the full moon that I fear so much. I am still not used to it, despite that I have been going through this painful process since I was a child. When I was in school, I always worried about it. I guess having the Marauders there with me helped me to keep a comfort zone. Sirius, James, and Peter are no longer able to be with me. We have all been hiding for so long that I'm not even sure what to think. I haven't even seen James and Lily's baby boy. Sirius is lucky, in that respect. At least he gets to know a little bit about what the hell is going on. I certainly have no idea whatsoever. I hope this all ends one day soon. I'd like very much to be with my friends again. –Remus J. Lupin  
  
The night passed uneventfully for Remus, who spent it hiding under a desk in his living room. This, of course, was a regular monthly occurrence, except that this night would be a very important one. Something would happen this night that would change the course of several people's futures.  
  
"James, NO!" screamed Lily, trying to follow her husband into their living room.  
He held her back. "I'll hold him off. Hopefully I can give you and Harry some time to get away. Did you hear me, Lily? Take Harry, and I want you to run! I love you..." he whispered.  
  
Lily choked back a sob. "I love you too, and so does Harry...James..." Lily cried.  
  
"Go, damn it! Get out of here before he..." James could hear the crash in the living room. "Oh, god Lily... Run!"  
  
Lily did run. She ran, all the way to the back of the house, where Harry lay smiling in his crib. She picked him up, and cringed. From the living room, she could hear Voldemort's terrible laugh, and James...he screamed. Lily ran to Harry's bedroom window, jerking to pry it open. It finally did open...just enough for her to squeeze Harry through...  
  
There was an explosion. Harry's bedroom door blew into little pieces. Lily screamed, and rather than reach for her wand, reached for her son. She hugged him close. Her back was to Voldemort when he came into Harry's room.  
  
"This is pointless, Lily." He hissed. "James died. You will do the same."  
  
Lily did not turn around. She was sobbing now, and holding Harry so that her own body blocked Voldemort from hitting him. She whispered "I love you," but no one but Harry could hear. Lily didn't even have time to scream before the curse hit her.  
  
Harry was on the floor now. He was resilient. He sat up. He was still smiling, even as Voldemort took aim at him. There was one more explosion, and one more scream from the Potter household that night, but neither came from Harry.  
  
August 18 1988  
  
I cannot believe what I have read...all that I have seen. I have received some of the worst news of my life today. Lily and James were murdered last night. I was in denial... I will admit that much. But I have talked to Dumbledore...and all of the terrible rumors I've heard are true. I didn't understand. In order for Voldemort to even know where they were, he'd have to go through Sirius, right? Right? That's why I didn't believe anyone...Sirius would never betray his friends. But the news, the Daily Prophet...I know the whole story now.  
  
I don't understand what would possess Sirius to do something like that...to sell out his friends. He was a Marauder. And then...poor Peter. For him to die like that is unimaginable. And all those Muggles! I just...I don't understand how Sirius could be capable of doing such terrible things! He was their friend, and mine. Right now, if it weren't for the fact that he's already in Azkaban, I'd kill him myself. I wouldn't even need my wand. I'd just strangle him...  
  
Dumbledore says he's glad of one thing. Of course, everyone's talking about Harry. I don't know how, but he's still alive. The Daily Prophet is calling him The Boy Who Lived. Appropriate title, I guess, considering that he did live. It's remarkable, but so sad... -Remus J. Lupin  
  
A/N: Chapter three up soon! 


	3. The Truth About Sirius

A/N: Please review. I need to know if you all like it or not. Please and Thank you in advance! Me  
  
The Marauder Diaries  
  
Chapter Three  
  
"But Dumbledore, sir, Harry was raised by Lily's sister! Do you understand what that means? Petunia hated Lily. I doubt Harry knows anything about Sirius, or me, or anyone. She wouldn't allow it, and neither would that uptight husband of hers. What can I do?" Remus groaned.  
  
"I want you to come to Hogwarts this year and teach. Recently, we've had terrible luck with the Defense Against the Dark Arts job..." Dumbledore whispered.  
  
"Why would you want me to teach, sir?" Remus frowned. "You want me there because of Sirius, don't you? I've already heard about his breaking out of Azkaban. That's the reason, isn't it?" Remus asked.  
  
Dumbledore smiled. "Partly, yes. You never do miss a trick, do you my friend?" He laughed a moment. "Besides, don't you want to meet Harry? You know he starts his third year this year, and he will undoubtedly have your class..." He frowned. "The other half? You're probably one of the only people alive who knows what Sirius can do. Just in case..."  
  
Remus sighed. "I thought I knew...until he murdered three of my best friends," he growled. "I would love to meet Harry, though..."  
  
"I want you to explain it to him, Remus. I need you to explain it to him. He has to hear it from someone, and you were closer to Lily, James, and Sirius than any person I know..."  
  
Remus shook Dumbledore's hand. "I guess it's settled then."  
  
August 31 2001  
  
As of...well, tomorrow, I am Hogwarts newest Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. As to what on earth I plan on teaching these kids? I have no idea. This whole teacher thing is exciting. I have a job...(Kind of surprising since that new damn law came out. That Delores Umbridge is one shady character...)  
  
I think what I am most excited about is finally getting to meet Harry tomorrow. It's hard to believe...but he's thirteen, and the only picture I've ever seen of him is one from the Daily Prophet after Lily and James were killed. I wonder which one of them he looks like? I hope he's not too much like his father...James was brilliant, but even I felt bad for his teachers sometimes...okay...most of the time. But then again, Sirius and I were always there to egg him on...  
  
I wonder how Harry will take all of this when I tell him? I did promise Dumbledore that I would explain everything to him. The only problem is, I'm not sure that I know how...He'll be so angry, so hurt when he finds out. And me having to be the bearer of all his bad news... –Remus J. Lupin  
  
"Professor Lupin, thank you so much for everything. I'll feel a little bit better next time those Dementors decide they want to come around," Harry smiled at him. He looked like his father, Remus thought, but he had Lily's beautiful eyes.  
  
He shrugged. "It was nothing, Harry." He laughed, and pointed at his robes. An old, yellowed piece of parchment was hanging out of Harry's pocket. "Is that map what got you in trouble with Professor Snape earlier, Harry?"  
  
"Yes, well...wait! How did you know that it was a map?" he yelped.  
  
"I have my secrets, too, Harry. That map has been around since the times of your father and I..." Remus answered.  
  
Harry frowned at the mention of his father. "I think it's broken anyway, Professor. Earlier, it showed someone walking around that I know to be dead."  
  
Remus was curious. "Who?" he asked.  
  
"Peter Pettigrew. Ernie on the Knight Bus told me about him. Said Sirius Black killed him after he helped kill my parents..." Harry growled.  
  
Remus wanted to scream, but instead, replied calmly. "Yes, Harry. You're right. But maybe it would be best if I took that map off your hands? I don't want you getting into anymore trouble..."  
  
"So, Peter is alive...wait! What the hell? That would mean that...Sirius was framed! But why? How? Peter! Of course! It has to be something to do with Peter! After all, he is alive, and Sirius was put in jail for killing him. I need to know more..." the thoughts raced through Remus's head as he sat in his office and scanned the map. There! He could see Peter...in the dormitory with Harry! He was moving now. Heading outside, it seemed. And there! There was Sirius. There was more disturbing news. Harry, and his friends, Ron and Hermione, were headed straight for the Whomping Willow. That meant they were headed straight to where Peter and Sirius seemed to be going...  
  
Harry can't have realized what was going to happen once they got into the Shrieking Shack. Lupin had arrived just in time to prevent something terrible from happening.  
  
"Harry, no! He's innocent! Where's Ron's rat? What was his name? Scabbers! Where is Scabbers?" Lupin asked.  
  
Sirius Black was standing over Harry and his friends. "Remus, when did you figure it out?" he asked.  
  
"When Harry said he had noticed Peter on the Marauder's Map. What else could it have been? You must tell me, though. If you were the Potter's secret-keeper, and you didn't tell on them, then how did Voldemort find out?" Hermione flinched at Remus's question.  
  
"I wasn't. I convinced them to change to Peter at the last moment. I thought it would be less obvious. I convinced James and Lily that any Death Eater would certainly come after you or I before they would even think to consider Peter. I didn't know he would sell them out. I feel responsible..."  
  
Harry didn't blink. "What are you talking about? Tell me the truth! I want to know the truth!"  
  
Remus explained the Imperius Charm to Harry. Sirius told him of how his parents were hidden, how only a special 'secret-keeper' would know where they are, how the charm would only be broken if the 'secret-keeper' were to reveal where his parents were. Sirius explained exactly how it was that he had been framed. Remus told Harry how he realized Sirius had been framed after he saw Peter himself on the Marauder's Map...how, since Peter always seemed to go wherever Ron went, that Peter (an animagi himself) had to have been Scabbers.  
  
Harry nodded. "Ron, give me the rat," he demanded.  
"But Scabbers..."  
"It's not Scabbers! That rat helped murder Harry's parents!" growled Sirius. He aimed his wand, a spark shot out, and Scabbers became Peter Pettigrew.  
  
They had started back through the secret passageway leading to the Hogwarts grounds when Remus felt his stomach lurch. He groaned. Sirius looked up, alarmed. "Run! RUN!" he screamed. Remus was transforming...and he had forgotten to drink his potion in his rush to save his friend. "Remus...come on...you know who I am...you know who you are..." Sirius whispered, trying to slowly retreat. "You know who you are, my friend," he repeated.  
  
Remus couldn't remember anything after that. The transformation had completed itself. With a loud howl, he pushed past Sirius, knocking him down, and made his way into the Dark Forest.  
  
June 7 2002  
  
I was forced to leave Hogwarts today after the horrid incident several days ago. I remember Sirius. I told Harry everything. We told Harry everything. And Peter, I remember him. Was he arrested? Harry has told me that he and his friends helped Sirius escape. He is in hiding right now. I feel better though, now that I know the truth...now that Harry knows the truth. And Sirius is free of Azkaban...although not totally free. Not yet, anyways. I only wish that I had been there. I could've testified. I was there, after all. I saw what happened. Now there is nothing I can do. At least I helped Sirius in the best way I could...although I will always feel as if I could've done more.  
  
Harry says he has no regrets. He still has to go live with those terrible Muggles, though. I would take him in myself if it were possible. I met Lily's sister once, and she was horrible. The Ministry of Magic would never allow it, though. At least Harry has Sirius...err...in a way. And I will always be there for him. Yes. It's the least I can do for Lily and James... -Remus J. Lupin  
  
A/N: Do you guys get how I am writing this? I'm using events from the story (not actual wording, obviously) to create later entries in Remus Lupin's journal. After all, something has to happen in order for him to write about it, doesn't it? Chapter four will be us soon! 


	4. Remus Reflects

A/N: Funny, but I just posted a review to respond to your reviews. I realize now I could've done that here. Oh well. I'll do it again. Several of you have noticed that the timing was off on my story...the dates, etc...Well, I wrote the story as if Harry was born in about 1987. I timed it that way because I was 11 when I read the first book (so was he) so I used my own age and grade level as a marker. Sounds stupid, but to me it was simpler than taking 11 to 15 years away. I am dismal at math.... ( Oh, and as for Dumbledore being Headmaster, I'd heard there was a Headmaster Dippet before him, and that he didn't become Headmaster until after James and Lily's time....I dunno though.  
  
A/N2: Note that I changed the summary as well. I believe someone mentioned that it kind of spoiled the 5th book. Sorry! Can you forgive me? ( Anyways, here is the fourth and final chapter. It is a giant journal entry from Remus. Hope you enjoy!  
  
The Marauder Diaries  
  
Chapter Four  
  
September 27 2004  
  
I've never actually looked at what I've written in here. The dates go back so far...back to before Lily and James were dead, before Sirius was thrown in Azkaban...(before it wasn't practically illegal for me to get a job...damn Delores Umbridge. The Ministry should have laws against people like her...) I'd never realized how much I wrote in here, you know? Yet some of the pages are yellowing, the ink is wearing down, and some of the pages are still blank. How could I have written so much and still not filled up this old book? Over twenty five years...and still blank pages...I amaze myself sometimes.  
  
It's sad, you know? I started this journal to keep track of what was going on with my friends. The Marauders. Lily. James. Sirius. Peter. And me... can't forget me. But really, only maybe two of the entries are happy ones. How could my life have spiraled downward so quickly? Things seem to get worse as the pages turn...darker.  
  
There was Lily and James's murder...although I would not have to write that to remember every detail about it. There was that whole terrible episode that landed Sirius in Azkaban for nearly thirteen years...won't forget that, either. I wish I could be the one to find Peter. Wouldn't that be something to write about? Sirius was in hiding for two years because of him...and he was innocent. Of course, I doubt Peter was having any fun either. I hope Voldemort did the same to him as he did to James and Lily. I never thought I'd say that, but I think he deserves it.  
  
Oh, yes...there's that too. Voldemort, I mean. The Order is still trying to figure that out. Poor Harry. His fifth year...it was so terrible. Everything was terrible. I wanted to tell him, but I couldn't. He told me about his dreams. Awful, they were. I want to beat the bloody hell out of Snape. Far as I'm concerned, he was supposed to do something, and he didn't do it.  
  
A stupid grudge with James is no reason to deny Harry some piece of mind while he sleeps. But, of course, I've never reasoned things as Snape would, so I wouldn't know how his odd little mind works. I blame him. I blame him for most everything that happened this year. I know he's a good boy now, and he's in the Order. I've been to the meetings. I've seen him there. But this? It is his entire fault. What on earth ever possessed him to be so thick headed...especially when he himself knows first hand the powerful grip that Voldemort can have over people?  
  
Harry blames himself for what happened. He thinks it's all his fault...what happened, I mean. He was so angry with Dumbledore afterwards...but he still blames himself. I tried to explain everything to him. I tried. I think he understands, but right now, it's as if he's in a shell. I can understand that. I seem to feel that way myself. What can I do, anyway? How am I supposed to help him when I myself feel as if the entire world has just crashed down onto my head?  
  
I was there. I saw the look on Harry's face. I wanted to take some of his pain away...lighten his burden. That look...the despair in his eyes...the hatred. I saw it all the moment it happened.  
  
But then there's Dumbledore. That poor old man. If I were him, I'd have ripped my hair out after a year like this one. He tried so hard to protect Harry...to protect everyone...to keep Voldemort at bay. After all, that's what he formed the Order of the Phoenix for, isn't it? It's been around so long. I remember even back when Lily and James were members. Poor Dumbledore. To know so many have died on his watch. He feels bad. I know he does. He feels bad about the Longbottoms (I wasn't there when that happened, but I've heard him discuss it...), and about Lily and James (wasn't there either...full moon...lucky for Peter, 'cause I would've killed him without even thinking about it...) and...God, I don't even want to think about it.  
  
So that leaves me, doesn't it? One of the few lucky enough to be alive after the first Order of the Phoenix...one of the few lucky enough to survive this time around...one of the last Marauders left. Wait...I am the only one. Peter doesn't count anymore...even if he is alive somewhere. So I'm the only one left. Damn screwy how things work out, isn't it? I thought I would die twenty years ago, protecting James and Lily's secret. That didn't happen. Everyone is gone. James and Lily are gone. Peter, in my eyes, was dead the minute he betrayed them. And Sirius, who had to spend thirteen years in Azkaban and two years in hiding because of Peter...I AM the only one left.  
  
Well, maybe not. There is Harry. He's still here. He wrote me after he talked to Dumbledore. Of course, he's still angry, and he's upset, but he's also still alive. James and Lily would be so damned proud of him. He's been through so much, and he's still here. He reminds me of his parents. He has always had his mother's beautiful eyes, and his father's wild hair. He's bold...I guess he got that from both James and Lily. Yes, I remember how they were. Harry is my reminder of them. They may not be here anymore, but he is. To me, it's almost like I still have James and Lily with me. Harry embodies everything that they were when I knew them, so it's almost like they are still here. Like every time I look at Harry, I have to stop and think a moment to make sure I won't call out to James. He is their son, after all...and here is where I catch myself rambling...silly me...  
  
This will be the last entry in this journal. I am through with trying to keep track of everything. I think I am making letting go harder for myself. I thought this would help...but I find no relief. I think I shall keep it, though. And one day, when Harry is older, I can show it to him. Maybe then, he'll know that he isn't alone in his pain...that I have shared some of it with him...  
  
-Remus J. Lupin (Moony, to his friends) The Last Marauder  
  
A/N: I know this is short...and I tried to avoid explaining exactly what happened in book 5...although I don't think I completely avoided it...Read and Review! I hope you've enjoyed it! I will have another story up soon! (Guess I love to write...bit scary, really...) 


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